DREAMS!! I HATE IT

haizz...they say dreams come true...i personally hope the one i had will never come true at all...
anyway i had a dream last night..it was that baby called me and she told me that it was time tht we have a breaK..and that i shuldn bother callin her anymore until i have grown up and learn not to be pissed at small lil things cuz she was tired of it already..i was shocked, sad, confused and reaaly like "wht the fuck?"....after that i knew tht i made a very stupid mistake...and i tired to call her and tell her that im sorry and it'll never happen again...i called her 10 times and she never picked up and never even call baq..and online i tried to say it there but she was never online..and till one time she actually picked up....she was like WHT?!..than i apologized to her and said im sorry...she wouldn forgive me...than i went out for a lonely lunch..i saw her with her exx...and i was totally shocked and very blank in my mind..i didn noe tht this kinda things would have ever happen to me wen im with her..haizz...after tht i just comited suicide ...i remembered how i actually died...i went to the top apartment..which was 30 floors...and i went to the edge with a knife..i slit my throat and i fell down ....than my mom woke me up for college...and i found myself cryin..and after that i was totally depressed the whole day..until i told baby about it and she said that it will never happen,...i believe her with all my heart...i really do..but something in me thinks that in the VERY VERY NEAR future..it will happen,...i dunoe why this insecurity has happen to me again...i dunoe why...i thought it came and left and begone with it...but nw it has come baq to hunt me...and this insecurity might not leave me nw...i dunoe why am i feelin like this...i really love you denise..i love you baby...they might say its obssesion..i don care...i admit..i am obssesed with you ...i am...you might this tht im wierd...im crazy...im stupid..im dumb..im an asshole...i don care...i want you to noe tht i really love you ...i love you like MAD!!....but you can't blame me baby...i've been inlove with you for 4 years..and im finally able to be with you..and nw you tell me to let go.i realy can't do it...im sorry...I WILL NEVER DO IT....im crazy baby i noe i am...i noe i am..im sorry..nw the whole decision its really up to you weather you still wanna be with me...